Can't Let It Go
by Mystical Machine Gun
Summary: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.
1. Chapter 1

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

**Can't Let It Go**

I cannot believe that of all the places he could be sitting on, he is sitting next to me in this cramped room. The room is full of more or less drunk people and I am not saying that I am any better, but still. I wanted to rest for a second and try to clear my head, and what better than the black leather couch. It kind of called my name so pleasantly, but eventually betrayed me as it seemingly so called his too. Not just him either, but this quite ditzy girl that has a hard time keeping her dress on while sitting on his lap.

It is not like I care what Naruto does specifically, but this girl is almost on my lap too. His hands wonder on her back and sneak under the hem of the dress. This all makes the girl giggle like a maniac, and due to that she has even less self-control over her body. In a way she slides down from Naruto's lap and is all the more on me and fuck, it is not what I want and she is heavy too.

I am getting aggressive and I fume inside, since Naruto does nothing to fix her position, even though he must see that I am next to him suffering. Actually, I am quite sure he does nothing for the reason that it is me, since we do not get along. At all. The reason being that he is a dumb jock, while I make love to my guitar. And guys. This little quirk of mine surely is the reason to this hate-and-be-hated thing that has gone on since God knows how long. Not to forget that he does not live that far off, and I have known him since we were kids and we did not get along then either.

It is not that I babble my life all around, but there was this incident when Naruto saw me, ahem, in a questionable situation with the goalkeeper of his team. Since it was his team member, he could not go and crucify my arse with the announcement of my gayness. It was not that I was doing it with the guy, but a mere groping did not make the situation any better.

I know Naruto had a word with the guy, and after that the guy did not even look me in the eyes. After the incident Naruto started to treat me like total shit, though he had done that to some extent before too. Fuel to the fire, I would say. Either way, I had never liked him all that much, so this situation fit with me. Now at least I had a real reason to hate him openly and project my anger on him just for the heck of it, if nothing else.

Now Naruto and that girl are swapping sloppy kisses and really, I just do not want to see this for the reason that it is sickening. I am already feeling unwell and now I have to watch two disgusting people go at it. I decide to make it stop my own way. I lean closer to Naruto so that my mouth is next to his ear and half whisper to him that perhaps he is way much more interested in the fact that it is me sitting next to him instead of the girl on his lap. I continue that his show is floppy as it is clear that he gets his boner from my body so close to his. Then I quickly offer to ease his tent pole with my sinful but luscious mouth.

Swiftly he pushes the girl off of him and as fast as an lightning is on top of me his fist like five centimeters away from my face. You son of a fucker, he curses while shoving me more inside the couch. His arms feel heavy on my chest and I have hard time breathing, but still I smile. You have been a fucking eyesore the whole goddamn evening, you faggot, he curses while I try to pry his hands off of me. Admit it, you want me, I whisper to him seductively and that just makes him madder than before. I knew it or otherwise I would not have done it – I just wanted that our stupid bickering could have a grand final and I could vent everything out now.

We are both pushing and pulling. The couch is not the best place for a fight and Naruto ends up pushing me off of it. We both slide down the couch on to the hard wooden floor, and I land on my back and hit my head. Naruto is on me, we end up rolling on the floor and both of us get punches through. In the heat of the moment I notice that he has steadied himself over my crotch all the while trying to pummel my head. I guard my face, but his movement on me makes it goddamn hard to concentrate. The adrenaline in my system turns into a heat of different kind as he rolls his arse on my groin. He surely does not get what he is doing and I am fucking humiliated as I get a fucking boner due to it.

He has to feel it and try my hardest to erase it, but to no avail. His breath is hot on me, and I see it from the slight change in his facial expression that he knows. I know I am doomed and I turn on to my stomach in panic and try to crawl from under him. He is so fucking going to kill me, I know it for sure. I am cursing shit under my breath while trying to escape from him, but he pulls me back that fucking malicious look on his face. Where are you going you little birdie, he whispers while pressing his body on mine and locking me under him. His hands end up around my throat swiftly and choke me and I am scared shitless.

My brain is screaming that how can I be so fucking stupid to get an erection when the violent arse kicker is on me. I am starting to panic, since I really cannot breathe. I try to get his hands off, but nothing seems to work. He looks like a fucking sociopath until he suddenly loosens his grip and whispers to me, that surely the little metal face black bird did not get scared and shit his pants, now eh. My breath is ragged and I cough a lot until Naruto suddenly gets off of me and pulls me along.

No one seems to care we are fighting, and I so hope that no one saw my humiliation. Some people look at us warily and whisper, but sure as hell they do not dare to say anything. I can see it from their faces that they think the Goth rocker deserved it, and I do not have the strength to fight back. It is like I am letting him take me to my final execution and no one does anything. Naruto drags me upstairs and into the large toilet there. I go all the scenarios through in my head, but they all end up in me being dead. I kick myself mentally for standing up to him when I should not have. Now I am paying the price.

**Thoughts? Comments? Anyone?**


	2. Chapter 2

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

Naruto gets us inside and locks the door. Then just as suddenly he pushes me forcefully against the door and again I hit my head. The bump is probably the size of an orange already. His hands are gripping the front of my shirt, and I ponder whether I should close my eyes and let this be over. The air is electric and somehow I am just looking at his mouth. In this small space my mind races a full circle and I do not know why, but I keep thinking that if I am going to die, I might as well try.

I move my hands from my sides behind his neck, but I do not get to do anything else, since it is him, who closes that space in between us. I just pull him forcefully closer and we are so making out. It is not really kissing, but eating one another's faces and it feels fucking great. It is goddamn erotic, hot and humid. All my blood pumps down to my cock as Naruto presses himself against me, and I know I mewl into his mouth. We kiss hungrily devouring anything we see and do not see, until he turns me around with a force and pushes me against the door once again. Saliva is dripping from my mouth and the door feels chilly against my hot cheek.

I can hear him work on his belt and then the zipper. Still, it feels so far away even when he helps me get my pants off. Yes, I as surely as hell was working on them before he decided to give me a hand. It fucking feels like tingling in my lower stomach when he checks the medicine cabinet for lube. I do not know what he got, but soon I feel something chilly along his fingers in my arse. I could come from that already, and he must have felt the hoarse voice that erupted from the back of my throat. I could burst from the anticipation alone and nothing else would matter. I just need a good fuck and I do not care that the person doing that is my mortal enemy.

Just as swiftly like everything else up till this point, he fucking rams himself inside me without a warning. His fucking big cock pulsates inside me and my knees start to buckle. Naruto pushes me against the door with every trust and he fucks me so deep that it feels like I could throw up. I moan while he sinks his fingers in my hips, and the skin is bound to bruise. I do not care that he fucks me bare, even though I promised myself to not to let it happen. I do not care it hurts or that he is way too forceful, since I have never felt like this. I have never been fucked so thoroughly. I hit my head against the door and my saliva forms a string from my mouth to the ground. I am grunting that I want more and hell, he surely is giving me more.

I know he fucks a lot of girls and he is good at it. He rolls his hips and feels me inside, finds the best angle and fastens his pace. I know I am so close and I try to endure more, since I do not want to come yet, but it does not work like that. It is like a fucking big killer wave crashing on rock as I cum frantically. I end up cursing and my body spasms, which makes Naruto cum goddamn forcefully inside me. It hurts like hell as he pumps his semen fully inside my arse and breathes in a couple of times before pulling out. His breath is hot against my back and I cannot form any words, since my mouth has run dry.

He detaches himself and starts to put his garments on. It amazes me how he can gather himself so fast and he even throws me my stuff. I still have hard time breathing and steadying my pulse. I get my pants on and I do not even clean myself, since he does not do that either. I am about to retort something about who is a faggot now, but he gets to it before me with his fist. Before I get to comment on anything, he sinks his fist into my stomach and I end up on the floor feeling like shit. I am gasping for air as he pulls me from the ground like a ragdoll and drags me out of the toilet. As we get out, Naruto tells the first person he meets that I was in the toilet puking and could that person get me out so he can piss. I am just stunned how he fucking handled everything, until I pass out from sheer pain in so many places.

I do not know how I got home, but I am sure it was not thanks to Naruto. I just remember that suddenly I saw my house from a car window and someone told me to go home and sleep. I basically crawled to my room, and I was really happy that mom was already sleeping and did not wake up. I felt like shit and just thinking about how everything happened got me feeling all sick again. I ended up throwing up in the toilet and got myself such a fever that I had to stay in bed the next day. I told mom that I ate something bad and it was not so long off from the truth that my arse had surely eaten something rotten.

The morning is surely nasty as my arse leaks his cum for an eternity and standing straight let alone sitting is impossible. My arse is on fucking fire and before shower I throw up again. As I get my clothes off I notice that my body is a map of bruises and cuts. I have a massive headache from hitting my head on every possible surface, and I am damn happy to get under the hot water. Then it hits me, the fact that I let him do me there and like that. Without any protection. That makes me even more nauseous as I surely do not know anything about him or who he has fucked before me, or like if he has used protection with any of his slave girls.

I curse as I let the dripping water heal what is possible to heal. I would kill him if he gave me any STD. I would not be that surprised if I got AIDS, and somehow I even feel like I would deserve it for letting this happen - to make this happen. I get off of the shower after soaking myself there for two hours and go straight back to bed. I sink my face in the pillow and try not to cry. I am such a pathetic loser.

After getting enough sleep I decide to get my anxiousness checked, which in my state means getting tested and I pray for god, any of them out there to make the result be negative. I sit in the waiting room with shady people and hope for the best. The waiting seems to last forever and my forehead is already sweating for crying out loud. I am about to get myself a tombstone already, when the nurse gives me the results with a crooked half of a smile. It seems I am clear although there is a slight possibility that it does not show yet in the test. Either way I am about to hug her, but I decide against it. I get up and head home feeling slightly better even when my arse still hurts like hell.

**Thoughts? Comments? Anyone?**


	3. Chapter 3

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

The next day I end up going to school even though it crossed my mind to never go there again for the shame and other weird feelings. I do not know how I am supposed to face Naruto, but I decide that it really is not my problem. I like guys, so letting him fuck me is not that scandalous, if you do not count that it was him. I do not get to think that far ahead when I already see him and his friends in the corridor. That son of a bitch does not even look at me when one of his friends bumps "accidentally" into me and they all laugh. Not like it matters all that much, but for fuck's sake I have been afraid of dying since yesterday morning and he dares to play it cool like that laughing at the social outcast…

I start to fume inside as I remember all the pain and fear that choked me for god knows how long. Still, I do not do anything, since I know that if I confront him now he would only butcher me, so I need to corner him or at least get him to be somewhat alone. That happens after the lunch break as his friends start walking towards the classroom and he is all by himself for a second. I walk to his locker and poke him on the shoulder. Yo, Naruto, I try to act all cool. He turns so fast and pushes me farther away from him.

Do not talk to me in public, he grunts and that gets me even angrier. First you fucking rape me and now I am not supposed to talk to you, I hiss at him and he looks royally pissed. Shut the fuck up, he snarls and demands me to lower my voice. We end up bickering in hushed voices and I get to vent out my STD fears about him. He looks mad and sour, and I keep thinking that perhaps I crossed a line. I did have a good hunch, since it makes him punch me in the gut. I drop on the floor as the air escapes my lungs. It fucking hurts everywhere and it hurts even more since for a second I thought I would want him to kiss me right then and there.

I do not have the will or power to get up and I am so happy that there is no one to see my humiliation. My right side is burning and I have to crawl to get up. What the hell did I expect to happen? That he would apologize? I do not even know why the hell did I want him to kiss me then, he must have hit my head harder than I thought he did back in that toilet. I end up promising myself to get over this, like really get over this. On Friday Ino has a party to which I did not want to go, but this would actually be the best possible start there could be.

What a better solution there could be but to drink myself under the table? I know for sure Naruto and his idiots have a game that day, so hopefully they will not come and in case they would, they would come late. Thus I can drag my arse home before that and try to sneak to a gay bar perhaps. Not that I have had all that much luck with that, since they seem to sniff that I am not of age.

On Friday my blood is like boiling. I am so extremely angry at Naruto for acting like nothing happened and also angry at myself. I put on my favorite clothes aka my leather pants and a black tank top. I look at myself through the mirror and decide to put on some kohl around my eyes. I think I look fucking awesome my eyes like two pitch-black charcoals. I ruffle my hair all messy and get my jacket. I am glad mom is not home, since she does not approve of my choice of clothing really. Still, I amaze myself for looking so good for once.

Ino's house is full of people already and I am glad that I cannot see Naruto anywhere. I get inside and try to locate the kitchen through a mass of bodies. In the kitchen I bump into Ino's cousin who offers me a beer. I try to recall his name, but I cannot remember it and I do not have the nerve to ask it either, since he surely seems to remember me well. He is actually a nice guy and somehow gives off this vibe that he might me interested in me more than just this. I sure as hell hope so, since I want a cleansing.

There are more and more people getting into the kitchen, and this cousin moves closer and closer to me. I can already feel his breath on me and he casually ends up moving his right hand to rest on my hip. Holy shit, I am like burning! He is good looking with blond curly hair that frames his face. His laughter gives birth to these cute dimples and I am actually getting nervous. Except guess who ends up joining the party and of course finds his way into the kitchen too. The moment Naruto sees me the laughter on his lips dies a violent death. He sees the guy's hand on my hips and I can follow his gaze from there back to my face. Oh, if looks could kill…

I end up stuttering to the cute guy that I must be on my Cinderella way and he laughs and I panic. Soon Naruto is only a meter away and I run for the back door. Gladly I get out before he gets to me - except that I did not think he would follow me outside. There is no one outside but us and I feel like a caged animal. I back away from him and he gets closer. Even in the darkness I see his eyes burning like fire and pray silently that he does not kill me. My body cannot take any more hits, it really cannot.

Soon my back is against the wall and it feels chilly. The outside temperature is somewhat cold too and my balls are already freezing. Panic pumps all my blood to my heart and even in the darkness the hammering in my chest can be heard clearly. Naruto closes the gap and stands in front of me. He is somewhat taller than me and his breath feels warm against my face. His hands move to my chest first and squeeze the fabric of my shirt into his fists.

He is pulling me upwards and pushes me hard against the wall. Its rough surface scratches the bare skin of my neck and shoulders and I end up whimpering. It hurts like hell and now my side is throbbing too, and I cannot help the tear that rolls down my cheek. I end up closing my eyes and just wait that he will end my life here in this darkness where no one sees us.

Instead of a fist I feel Naruto's mouth connecting with mine, his lips hot and needy. His tongue travels inside my mouth with ease and slowly, but surely, I start to respond to his advances. I let him ravish my mouth and it feels so extremely good. He licks the corners of my mouth and dives back in, rubs his tongue against mine and sucks on my bottom lip. Naruto is a damn good kisser, even though I do not really get why he is kissing me. All the more our movements turn from innocent into needy ones while our breathing gets unsteady, ragged even.

I am so fucking hard already due to the kissing alone and my mind is racing somewhere in the Milky Way instead of here. My hands travel into his hair and how soft does it feel? His fingers then are on my hips lurking inside my pants. Our skin just wants to unite, to become a massive sea of pleasure. All this makes us desperate, aggressive and passionate. Kisses go from slow to eating, warmth in groin to burning heat and light touches turn into scratching. With Naruto there cannot be anything else, but a bottle about to explode. I get it, there will never be anything normal between us. I should stop wishing otherwise.

**Thoughts? Comments? Anyone?**


	4. Chapter 4

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

Naruto detaches himself from me, spit still connecting our mouths. He looks frantic and I am scared he suddenly decides against this. I do not want him to beat me to a pulp, but I do want him to ravish me. I am such a whore, really. Which is weird, since I never thought I was like that. Naruto makes me unable to think straight pun intended, and makes me want things I never thought I would.

His gaze wanders until he takes me by the arm and pulls me along. He leads me to a garage and makes sure no one is following us. He pushes me inside hurriedly and locks the door. I do not know what to expect really and I not dare to move even an inch, since really, Naruto is unpredictable. Like does he want to kill me or fuck me?

He closes the gap between us and occupies my mouth again so swiftly. I let myself melt into him and we continue where we left off, interestingly so. Naruto directs us towards the couch in the corner. We both know it is there even in the darkness, since Ino has had parties here as well. Soon we are on the couch ripping our clothes off and not letting the chilliness eat our bones. We are too eager and desperate to get all off, thus we only manage to get my pants off and his merely down. That is as good as any though, since it is chilly here even if I am burning under my skin.

I get on all fours on the couch facing the backrest. Naruto positions himself behind me sliding his fingers from my neck to my buttocks and makes me quiver because of the anticipation. Shivers run down my spine when I suddenly feel something wet in my arse, and I take it that it must be spit. His fingers play on my skin, squeeze it until I can feel him start entering me. It does not take a genius to notice that he does it bareback again, but it just feels so fucking good that I forget it immediately. I seem to do that often with him. He pushes in with force, and it hurts like hell and at the same time gets me more aroused than ever before. He starts to move inside me with rhythmical pushes and rolls his dick inside me. It hits right to the spot making my knees buckle and I am frantically calling his name as he fucks me hard from behind.

He fastens the pace even more while grunting. I do not know where I pulled the courage to plead that I want to see him. I pant harshly as he pulls out and we reposition ourselves so that I am on his lap now riding his cock. I roll my arse and take him as deep as I can while he helps me with his hands. I get down to kiss him and I keep my body steady as he starts to pound my arse from that position. My arse is so full of him and I try my hardest not to moan that I love him, since now sure as hell I want him more than ever.

Naruto keeps me still as he pounds my arse and his other hand wanders to my cock and starts to jack me off. I am burning from the back and front and I just keep repeating fuck and yeah in turns. Then the wave of pleasure flushes over sneakily filling me up, twisting my insides and I repeat God's name in vain many times. I burst on his stomach gluing us two together and I see whiteness with stars bursting like fireballs. I scream as he cums inside me too with force, while his fingers dig into my skin. I can feel how his cum shoots up my arse filling me up with warmth and tingling. My breath is ragged and so is his as I collapse into him panting and exhausted.

As our breathing steadies the panic in me starts to rise as I recall the last time this happened, and I do not want him to sink his fist into me yet again. He pushes me off and as his skin cools down, it seems that it happens to his feelings too. He gets up and puts his clothes on never saying anything. I do not know what to say either, since I am afraid to break the spell that circles us. I try to get up, but my feet are wobbly and I feel weird altogether. I get my clothes back on and I know I should sit for a while, but I never get to do it. Suddenly I feel light and my mind sinks somewhere far away and I am totally out.

I wake up to a humming of a motor and warmth. Everything still looks hazy and unclear, but it is getting better. I do not have the foggiest idea where I am until I get to look around. I am in a car for sure. And Naruto is driving. What the fuck is happening, I murmur and Naruto grunts that I fainted. He could not left me there, since it was fucking cold and I would have died in there for sure. I feel stunned for the fact that he actually saved me from freezing to death. I do not know how to continue the conversation, and he looks like he does not want to talk either, so we keep driving in a perfect stillness. He stops at my house and I get off. I just get inside without saying anything, since it felt weird. Everything felt weird. Like the fact that he knew where I lived.

The next morning I wake up feeling shitty again, though it is not as bad as I thought it would be. I drag myself into shower again and let the hot water rinse my body and aching back. Why the hell do I find myself in these kinds of situations all the time? The repetition of everything including my arse leaking his cum is something that makes me want to hit my head hard against the ceramic tiles of the wall. I feel like this all the more as I understand that slowly but surely I am falling in love with Naruto, even when I hate him with a burning passion. I just cannot help it.

I get a boner just thinking how he felt inside of me, how his mouth tasted like…and at the same time I cannot understand how I let him do what he did, treat me like shit and as the realization hits me, he will treat me like shit from here on too. Now I have this fucking long weekend to think about this all and my brain hurts already. Never have I wanted to go to school this eagerly, well, perhaps when I was still in elementary school, but that is about it. Now my fucking skin itches because of this anticipation that is hard to define.

The whole weekend I basically laze around and mom keeps pestering me to do homework and such. I cannot concentrate on anything, since I keep repeating the night in my head and no matter how I look at it, I need to talk to Naruto. In school it is not an option, since I know he does not acknowledge me there. I really need to go to his house so I can corner him without his friends ruining everything. It feels like such a good idea that on Sunday I find myself on his porch. I do know where he lives for surely as hell I have been avoiding this place like plague, even when it is not that far off from my own home.

Here I am, standing on the porch of my worst enemy to try to talk about us. Nothings can feel as bizarre as this. Still, I end up ringing the doorbell before I end up deciding otherwise. The door is opened by a beautiful red haired woman who looks at me with a smile on her face. She greets me and asks who I am looking for. A million thoughts run in my head and I try to stutteringly ask whether Naruto is home. She smiles even more and asks whether I am a friend of his and I just have to smile back, since she is so lovely and nice. I tell her that sort of, and she laughs.

She asks me to come in inside and tells me that he is upstairs. I get inside after her and look around. The house is so normal and there are lots of pictures on the walls. I even meet Naruto's little sister, who is cute like no other. She has red hair too, so their father must be blond just like Naruto. I start to climb the stairs and suddenly I am terrified. This is like an enemy territory and here I am walking to my death. Naruto's mom calls him and shouts that he has a visitor and I can hear footsteps. I am already at his door when he opens it - without a shirt and headphones around his neck.

**Thoughts? Comments? Anyone?**


	5. Chapter 5

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

The look on his face…for the love of God. He grunts weirdly and we just stand there, since suddenly I feel like I should just flee. His naked torso…I cannot help that my gaze wonders to his abdomen and then all the way to his face. I cannot really read the expression on his face, and his mom shouts that she will call us to dinner when it is ready. Naruto looks me in the eyes, then turns around and walks into his room. I end up following him. The room is spacious and so normal like the rest of the house.

He has got posters on his walls, of sportsmen that I cannot recognize, since I am not into games. He has got a TV and a fucking big bed. He walks to his closet and puts a T-shirt on and then leans on the closet door and looks at me. Why are you here, he somewhat snarls, though it is a lame attempt to sound angry. A good question, I reply and add that I seem to have forgotten the reason. He laughs dryly. I continue slowly that I try my best to understand what the fuck we are doing. We are not doing anything, he replies and I get mad again.

I storm towards him and I half whisper and half shout that then what was the whole Ino thing, and us two fucking for the second time already, and how is that not anything. Naruto looks passive and tells me that nothing means nothing. I am just so dumbfounded, how can he deny it all so easily when I am fuming inside and trying to find a meaning to this all? You mean it means nothing to you, I continue and he looks at me and says that it surely is so.

I try to ask him whether it was a game, but he laughs again dryly saying that it is not even worth a game. I feel nauseous about his nonchalance and it fucking hurts me like hell. I end up pushing him tears blinding my eyes, but as sure as hell I will not cry in front of him. He pushes me back and snarls like a fucking bloodhound.

We end up fighting like we always do, but I too want to hurt him and suddenly I do not care if he beats me up, since can there be a pain more immense than this? He shoves me violently and I end up tripping, but gladly the bed is behind me or I would have gotten a concussion hitting my head against the wooden floor. I try to roll down from it, but Naruto climbs on it very fast and pulls me back. He straddles me on the bed and I try to kick him, but he prevents that by sitting on my legs firmly. We keep on fighting, scratching and almost biting, well, at least I do all those. It is fucking hot and I sweat, and so must he.

As I try to get from under him my shirt tangles around me and reveals the bruised skin. I try to cover it, but Naruto sees it. His movement halts as his fingers find their way to my side. I whimper even if I try not to, since the skin hurts, everything hurts like hell. His fingers feel light on my skin, and it seems he tries not to hurt while he examines the damage done. The whole situation feels weird and distorted in so many ways and I sniff that I hate him. My head hurts and my side hurts and my heart hurts. I fucking start to sob and my punches lose the strength and I am like a little kid. Naruto just sits on me and does not move an inch. I fucking hate you, I whisper, but I cannot read the expression on his face.

It feels like time is stopping and we are suddenly inside a bubble that is not affected by the outside world. Then Naruto suddenly pets my head and lets his fingers find their way into my hair. Even through the tears I get mad, how the hell does he have the nerve to act like this? He pushes me away and the next second pulls me in. I shove him hard and tell him to go die somewhere.

The expression on his face changes fast and his grip on me tightens. Fuck you, he snarls and I can feel his weigh on me. I try to kick him and I almost get him off of me. Instead of a sitting position he gets down to halt my movements and his grip on me is extremely tight. My cheeks feel hot and I am about to bite him when he suddenly kisses me fiercely. It is a violent kiss, and he even bites my lip that starts to bleed. I do not know what is wrong with my brains as I kiss him back just as hard as he is. I can taste my own blood in his mouth. I want him, I want him so bad that it tears me up inside.

We make out fully on his bed and I am as hard as I can be. I want him to fuck me senseless, and I do not know why I turn into this animal with him. He starts to rip my pants off and then works on his own. He unzips his pants, but then gets up fast and goes to lock the door. His cheeks are red as tomatoes and he looks so fierce. He gets back on the bed and pulls a lube from the drawer next to the bed. Naruto does not prepare me in any way, but starts to lube his pulsating cock right away. He pulls my arse towards him and I feel like a ragdoll once again.

I can feel his cock at the entrance and how he so swiftly pushes inside. It is a numbing pain. He starts to move right away and I do not have the time to adjust. Not that I really care at this point, since I am about to come already. I am like a whore trying not to moan so that his mom cannot hear us. Naruto finds the perfect angle with the perfect rhythm like he seems to find every single time - he pounds my arse into the mattress and actually keeps his eyes on me while doing it. I pull him into me and I kiss him my lips already bruised.

We are curled into each other like a ball all the while he keeps fucking me. The movement is small, but the pace is surely quick. It feels so fucking amazing that I end up coming quite fast, and I can feel him picking up the pace even more. He lets out small whimpers as he cums inside me, milks everything into me and collapses gently on me afterwards. We are lying on the bed, my cum binding us together. Our ragged breathing can be heard in the otherwise silent room.

Soon he gets up and gets a towel to clean the cum from his abdomen and throws it to me. He starts to put his clothes on in a perfect silence that I break. I am starting to fall in love with you, I whisper to him. I cannot help it, even when you are a dick, I continue silently. His movements slow down, but he does not look at me. He then says that he is not gay and that is all that comes from his mouth. In that second I know it is never going to work. He will never love me and want to be with me like I want to be with him. This would go on as long as it would work for him, and he would cast me aside the second he did not need me anymore.

The reasons to this I so desperately wanted to know do not mean anything anymore - he does not have the answers. I figured that much, I sigh and I so try to act all cool when saying that, even when I am covered in cum. I cannot go on like this, I need more, I whisper to him and he just says that he cannot give more and perhaps he does not even want to do that. I kind of figured that out too, I reply and put my clothes on. I can still feel him inside of me and yet he is so far away even when standing next to me.

**Thoughts? Comments? Anyone?**


	6. Chapter 6

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

I walk out of the room and Naruto does not follow me. I feel a lump in my throat as I descend the stairs to the hallway. Naruto's mom looks like a question mark, since she surely sees my face with sorrow carved on it. Are you not staying, she chirps carefully and I reply that I would love to, but I cannot and perhaps another time. She smiles warmly and nods. I get out of the house as soon as I can and try not to cry. I have become such a crybaby that I feel ashamed of myself.

I basically run home and it feels liberating. What did I really expect? That he would want to be with me, date me and do all this in public too? I end up snickering at myself for being so stupid. Soon the snickering turns into sniffing, since it surely hurts - a broken heart burnt by rejection is an ugly sight. When I get home I tell mom that I am not hungry and go back to my room. I end up lying on my bed feeling like shit until I get my game console, the perfect consolation.

Before going to bed mom enters my room with a light knock on the door. She brings me milk and cookies with an apologetic smile. This will heal a broken heart, there is nothing your mom's bakery cannot do, she smiles lightly and tells me I will get over it and how girls are so irresolute at this age. I nod every now without clarifying that the said person is a guy. I am not sure if I am ready to inform her about my preferences, so I pretend like I know what she is talking about. She seems to beam and leaves me alone soon after. I end up eating the cookies and I wash them down with milk and tears.

The next week is a repetition of all the other weeks, and I feel so stupid to let this affect me so much. I make a mental note to attend Ino's next party, drink myself to death and ride Ino's cousin in more ways than one. I still cannot remember his name though. I so need bandage sex right now, and the guy at least seemed like willing. I see Naruto in the corridors and he pretends like he does not see me, and it would bother me, if he had not been doing that since the beginning. I can only congratulate myself for picking the worst possible person to like. I should get a fucking medal for that.

It feels so absurd that we have fucked, especially since he does not even like guys and me no less. All the girls drool over him and it was I who got him, even if I could not keep him. That in itself boosts my ego and makes everything easier to handle. So I pretend like I do not care either. It is almost as if "us" never existed, and somehow even I have come to doubt whether everything was real or not. I block everything from my radar and basically wait for Friday like no tomorrow. I even make a deal with Kiba, whose older sister is the local booze distributor. He promises to get me tequila.

The whole week is like a blur. Now I surely understand why it is not wise to be in the same school as the person who tosses you aside. It is like Naruto is fucking everywhere. When it is finally Friday it feels like I have had to wait a year, and I am extremely happy to get drink my worries away. I have hard time selecting the clothes for the night though. I try to locate something that does not remind me of Naruto somehow, and at the same time I try to guess Ino's cousin's preferences. Like what the hell did I wear last time?

As this pondering is seemingly so pointless, I end up choosing black jeans and a black T-shirt that hugs my lanky body. I do wish I would have more muscles, but I cannot grow them overnight for fuck's sake. I end up putting more makeup than usual, but it seems to suit me fine, which is a good revelation. I put on my sneakers and my leather jacket and I head out. Mom is working the night shift, so I do not have to worry that she would have to witness my upcoming drunken state or even if I do not end up home.

I kind of wish that I could spend the night with what's-his-face. I know the pathetic echo this all has, but I am sure that nothing heals a broken heart better than the good old "in and out". Well, not the sex itself, but hopefully I get the mental petting and loving I now need, even if it is with a person that I am not so into, yet at least.

Sometimes I wonder if Ino has parents at all, since she seems to organize parties almost every weekend. It is that or her parents love her to bits for wet socializing. Either way, the house is full of people yet again, and the noise is quite immense. The neighbors have not called the police till this day, which is a miracle. Either they love partying too or Ino's parents have paved their daughter's road with gold even in this suburbia.

I squeeze in and at first glance I do not see Ino's cousin yet, but the night is young and all that shit. I meet up with Kiba, who brings me my bottle of tequila that smells weird. It's the good stuff, he tells me, but I highly doubt, since it was cheap. Cheap and good do not go hand in hand in this universe. I try to locate the kitchen so I could find salt and either a lemon or lime. Salt I find quite easily, but the lemon/lime is not that piece of a cake, even though I eventually find a slightly abused lime. The first shot of tequila goes down quite easily, but the second is trying to crawl its way back up, and thus I decide to get to the so called dance floor.

My head is spinning already and I squeeze into the dance floor without noticing that Naruto and his friends are already in the house too. On the dance floor I run into the what's-his-face cousin and he seems quite happy to meet me. We end up dancing or more like jumping around and I can smell the beer on him. The air is soon so suffocating that I tell the guy that I need a cigarette and that I will come back and meet him in the kitchen. He smiles at me and answers that sure. I squeeze myself out from the horde of people and head for the porch. There are only a few people there, since the air is already getting crispy. My only aim is to smoke and get back inside.

Suddenly everyone else out on the porch is getting back inside as if there had been a shepherd guiding them back in. The porch floor squeaks slightly and suddenly the air is quite menacing. I turn around and find myself alone on the porch with Naruto and his gang. Naruto stands by the door blocking it and his friends get closer smiling and snickering all the while. I curse under my breath and try to scan my surroundings for an escape. There is none and I have no shoes either. I curse under my breath yet again and try to act all cool in the hopes of them leaving soon.

What the fuck are you doing, you guys, I ask them while blowing the smoke from my mouth. We heard you are looking for a hookup, the one with the brown curly hair smiles evilly. And you are offering yourself or what, I snort back and the evil grin dies on the guy's lips and turns into a sinister madness. Like shit would anyone want a homo like you, he spits and I merely retort that their boss Naruto should know, since he has tasted this arse of mine more than enough.

Then I feel a fist in my stomach once again that drops me on the slippery floor. You fucking liar, I hear them roar. As I try to get up, the other guy kicks me in the shin and I am back on all fours. You surely know your position, they laugh and I ponder whether I should even try to get up anymore at all. Then Naruto is suddenly before me and that I notice from of his shoes, since I do not have the strength to look up anymore. Guys, leave him to me, he tells them and pulls me up from my shirt alone. The coldness in his eyes makes my insides curl as I do not really get this picture. What the heck does he want from me and will this ever end?

**Thoughts? Comments? Anyone?**

**P.S. No worries, there's going to be a happy end (you know me)!**


	7. Chapter 7

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

Naruto drops me on the floor and tells his goons to go watch inside so that no one will come here. I feel like shit again and somehow I do not even care anymore. I have to be a masochist and pathetic to boot to have ever liked or wanted him. His passive-aggressive behavior is not healthy either, and he is surely a closet case to have fucked me three times already. It is even scarier that he is a violent closet case and that I am the canvas he paints with his anger. How twisted and sad is it that still we get off?

I am so extremely cold lying on the ground and I cannot help but to shudder. I try to get up and I succeed even when it is about to kill me right then and there. I fucking hate you, I spit at him and he cannot hold his rage. Naruto's hands are gripping my shirt again and I just wait for his fist to clear its way into my face. His hands squeeze the front of my shirt like his life depends on it.

The air stays still, he stays still and I dare not to move either. What the fuck are you waiting for, I murmur almost inaudibly. He just keeps looking me in the eyes and his eyes are perfect azure even in the dim light from the windows of the house. I feel numb already and I can feel the shivers coming. My socks are wet and my stomach hurts.

For fuck's sake, I do not know whether to punch your lights out or kiss you right now, he smiles sadly at me while scrunching his face. My heart is hammering in my chest and he must feel it too. Shit, he swears and I do not really know what to do. He is beautiful and pathetic at the same time, but I do not dare to say that either. He lets go of my shirt and sits down on the stairs of the porch that lead to the yard.

I feel somewhat stupefied standing there until I sit down next to him. Not too close though, I do not want to agitate him. I do not know what the fuck is wrong with me, he snorts and buries his face in his arms. Why the fuck do I want you, when I cannot even stand you, he continues neutrally, but sounding so tired at the same time.

Somehow I so want to touch him, to say it is alright, but I do not think it is appropriate. If it makes you feel better, I do not know why the fuck I want you either, I retort. I must be a masochist to ever have fallen in love with you, I breathe. I see Naruto tensing and just then I notice that I used the L word. I have to try to patch it up and I end up saying that I am sorry, sorry for the both of us. I get up and tell him that he does not need to worry that I will tell anyone, and that he does not need to worry about any of this. Naruto does not say anything to this.

I start to walk back inside until Naruto suddenly gets up. He huffs and tells me to wait grabbing the hemline of my shirt. He pulls it and the wooden floor is wet and slippery. I try to keep my balance, but slip and basically come crashing down on him. We both land on the grass under the stairs Naruto on his back and me on top of him. My knees hurt like shit and we try to balance our breathing and steady ourselves. Shit Sasuke, he groans and that is probably the first time I hear him using my name.

I am sorry, I tell him apologetically, but he says that I should not be and pulls me swiftly into a kiss. His kiss tastes like booze and metal. It is greedy and unforgiving. His hands wander into my hair and I kiss him back, I respond to it with everything I got. We keep on kissing like our lives depends on it and I love it how soft and inviting his lips are, how they melt into my own. Then we break apart and just keep looking at each other our pulses racing like fast cars. My lips are swollen and his are actually bleeding.

Then suddenly someone comes to the window and asks what the fuck are we doing, and we detach and get up while straightening our shirts. We get inside and in the light I can see him clearly, the way his hair is mussed and I know that I must look the same. Could you two stop fighting for once, Ino says and looks at us angrily. I look at Naruto, who looks at me, and I do not know what to say.

Yeah, we could, he smiles, then takes me by the arm and drags me towards the hallway where our jackets are. The music continues and everything gets back to normal except Naruto's firm grip on my wrist. He pulls me closer to him near the door and looks me in the eyes, and my legs seem to go jelly every time he does that. You want to get out of here, he breathes and I just nod. We put on our jackets and no one seems to notice how we just suddenly disappear.

Outside the air is crispy and cold and my socks are still wet in the shoes. Naruto walks slightly ahead of me and then turns around walking backwards while blowing warm air into his hands. I just smile at him, even though I do not know why. I am fucking freezing, I tell him. Me too, he grins and looks like a totally different person. He hardly shows this side of him.

You want to come to my place, it is near, he asks without a deeper meaning to it, or at least that is what I think. Yeah, I mumble and suddenly I feel shy. He grins and turns around. We keep walking, him in front of me, although not that far. We get to his house and my mind has somewhat shut itself down since the porch episode. I just feel weird anticipation that I do not want to define or else it is going to disappear. We leave our shoes in the hallway and tiptoe our way towards the stairs to his room.

We get into Naruto's room and he switches the lights on and closes to door. All this feels surreal on some level and I just stand watching as Naruto takes off his shirt. You can spend the night, if you want, he says and I watch as he takes off his pants and socks. Get your wet socks off or you will catch a cold, he snorts and I do what he tells me. Are you going to sleep in those, he asks and I have to look what I am wearing, since I do not have the foggiest idea suddenly. Somehow I feel ashamed to take my shirt and pants off even when we have been more than often in our birth suits before each other. Now this feels personal, but I am cold and tired and I end up taking them off anyhow.

Naruto moves around in the room arranging stuff and such. His figure is amazing, the well-defined muscles on the back and his calves. As a comparison I look like a sledge's pulling twine that the frost has raped. I do not know what to do but stand. You can take the bed, I will sleep on the mattress on the floor, he smiles and I feel weird. No, you can sleep on the bed…with me, if you want to, I reply suddenly and he freezes for a second. I go red from tip to toe and I cannot comprehend how I let that out of my mouth. Shit, I curse. He laughs a little.

Naruto switches the light off and we get in the bed. I am glad it is a huge bed, but still. It feels weird. This feels weird. I tell him that, and he says that yeah, it does feel weird. I know we should talk, but talking with him has not worked like ever, and I do not know how to start. I end up asking him what is this and he just snorts. I do not know, he says and lies on his back.

I end up shivering, since my feet are like ice cold even under the blanket. Naruto looks at me and turns my way and scoots closer. What should I think of this, I ask him and he tells me that we so should not think right now, and he lowers himself down to kiss me. The kiss is sweet, all numbing and wet. My lips tingle from the touch, and I let his tongue travel inside my mouth and I rub it with mine. Naruto moves on top of me and all the while we kiss, he grinds himself against me in slow motion that sets my lower region on fire.

**I'm not one to beg for reviews, but I'd really like to know if you like this (or not) :P**


	8. Chapter 8

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

The sensation is new and overpowering, since with him it has always been fast and hard. I happen to enjoy this more as it depicts what sex is better – it's about proximity and feeling complete with the other person. I did not know he could be this gentle and my mind races wanting explanations I cannot give it.

Slowly Naruto pulls down my boxers and his own, and I feel so vulnerable lying naked on the bed. His skin feels so soft and light against my own, and he keeps grinding his cock against my cock. The friction feels sweet and great. He pulls me into him better and raises my bottom. It is like a soundless pact we have. I open my legs for him, so that he can position himself in between my thighs.

He pulls a lube from his nightstand and coats his hard twitching cock with it and strokes it a couple of times powerfully. Then he presses it against my arsehole and feels his way up. I raise my bottom for him so that he can enter better, and he pushes himself swiftly inside with a fast trust. It does not hurt really, since he has ripped my arse apart so many times that it feels weird to do it like this, so intimately. Naruto starts moving inside me, first slower and then quickening the pace. It feels so hot and tempting how his cock fondles my insides and my own cock leaks already.

Naruto lowers his upper body so that he can keep kissing me all the while he trusts in and out. The rhythm is perfect so that the movement is yet again small but fast. I am so close and every time he pushes inside, it feels like I could come. I reach for the peak, matching my own movements with his, and I am almost, almost there.

Then the quivering begins and it starts from my toes, moves to my loins, explodes and keeps on coming. Shit, I am cumming, I whisper and he fastens the pace all the more. The tingling reaches my head, and I cum frantically with groans that make him cum inside me. He lets out whimpering noises, and I feel his cock twitching inside my arse and how he shoots his load up there. He milks it all into me, but does not pull out yet. He gently falls on top of me while trying to catch his breath.

Naruto rolls next to me and lies on his back. I am all sticky and so is he, but he does not do anything to it and neither do I. I really do not get that part of him, liking sperm on him or whatnot. We need to talk about this, I breathe carefully and turn on to my side to look at him. I know, he says, but does not look at me. His eyes are focused on the ceiling. He closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath. Does this need to have a name, he asks me and I tell him that I do not want to be a casual shag. I scrunch my face at him. You know I want more, I continue. He does not look me in the eyes.

I know it is hard. Hard to notice you cannot change yourself and be normal. Wanting things you should not. I know. I do not know what I want, Naruto whispers. I cannot be like you, not right now and not like this, he continues silently. I can hear my heart break into a million pieces when he says that, and for fuck's sake after all this. I did not really expect things would go smoothly, but the night and all this gave me hope, and it is nasty to notice that I was wrong.

I feel like crying and that I end up doing, since this was the first time that I had actually fallen in love with someone. All the books and movies were wrong - love cannot conquer all and you cannot make others fall in love with you with sheer willpower alone. I bury my head into the pillow and try to muffle the sniffs and sobs. I am sorry, Naruto whispers to me and I want to scream, want to make him change his mind and tell me that he wants me. Instead I end up falling asleep dead tired and broken.

The morning light pierces through the curtains and I wake up feeling soggy and mushy. I am alone in the bed and by the sounds of what is happening downstairs, Naruto's mom is making breakfast. I get up and just then Naruto steps from the shower looking refreshed and no trace of sorrow can be found on his face, if there ever was that. Like yesterday did not exist or perhaps it only existed for me.

I get up and put my clothes on and he is doing the same, but neither of us is really speaking out loud. I should get home, I tell him groggily. Yeah, Naruto breathes out, but I really cannot read his expression. You can stay for breakfast, if you want, he then suddenly says, but I tell him that I should really get home. I try to smile, but I know I cannot make it work, since Naruto looks sad and apologetic in a way now.

I am almost at the door when I turn around to look at him, like really look at him, for the last time. Call me when you grow up, is all I can say to him and he grunts and nods. Then I walk out of the room, out of the house and he walked out of my heart.

Five years later my phone is ringing and on the screen is a number I cannot recognize. I am about to not answer it, since I just had a massive fight with my boyfriend, who in the process stopped being my boyfriend. I ended up studying math at the local university and had my fair share of relationships, but they did not really work out. I keep thinking that there must be something profoundly wrong with me when I cannot really feel anything, and I am much more at home in casual relationships. I have guarded my heart well, I think.

So, Neji walking out did not really move anything inside me, which proves that I should just stick to casual fucking and whatnot. In the end I do pick up just for the heck of it, and a familiar voice fills the phone line and it feels like fucking audio sex. I did not think you would ever call, I smile at the voice and I can hear Naruto laughing lightly at the other end. You free, he suddenly asks and I tell him that yeah, since my shackles just walked out of the door never coming back. Good, he mumbles and I have to concentrate to really catch the meaning of that.

Was it the guy with the long brown hair, Naruto suddenly asks and it is kind of creepy how he knows that. Because I happen to stand in front of your apartment, he says with a stretched voice filled with laughter. My heart does this weird sound in my chest and I rush to my balcony. There Naruto stands looking sheepish and waves at me. I am looking at him dumbfounded, the way he stands there. His hair is longer than it used to be, and you can see it even when he has that cap of his on.

Are you going to invite me in, he smiles and I do just that. I get inside and swiftly check myself through the mirror. Sadly so I am not looking all that cool like him, and suddenly I feel the need to put my hair back in place and other weird shit. I am acting like a teenaged girl and it sickens me. I end up opening the door and there he stands casually. Can I come inside, he asks politely. Of course, come in, I tell him. My heart seems to have awaked from its hibernation and is beating its way through my ribcage. My pathetic being seems to love Naruto's company. Like it did already all those years ago.

**One more chapter to go! Do tell me what you thought of this :)**


	9. Chapter 9

_So, here I'm again with a brand new story! Gladly the writer's block is gone. Well, I'm into dark and mellow fics these days and I wanted to write a melancholic and twisted story. It's an interesting idea to get off to violence and mistreat, and how many people in this world still end up with people who use those as a tool. A person has changed only when he or she has actually changed. Still, it doesn't make those people bad per se, and we keep on loving them albeit their flaws. It isn't love that heals necessarily, but time and the ability to correct one's own ways and then let that love in. Do tell me what you think of this!_

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke

**Summary**: It's a constant battle of hate that escalates to a point of no return. Somehow the reluctance turns into real feelings, but it's one-sided. Can mistreat and insecurity kill everything? How can love ever blossom from this? NaruSasu. Rated M for sex and language.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

Naruto eyes me with that crooked smile of his and tells me that I have not really changed. I do not know whether it is a compliment or not and I point that to him, but he just snorts. I ask him whether he wants some coffee and he says that sure, why not.

So, what have you been up to, Naruto asks me carefreely. Nothing much, studying and being incapable of having a long lasting relationship probably thanks to you, I tell him quite neutrally and then I ask how about him. You have become snarky over the years, he laughs and tells me that he has done those too. Somehow I find it improper to ask whether those relationships were with girls or boys. I think it is safe to let the past be past, when mine is not so high and mighty either.

The more the coffee is warming up my stomach, the more I keep thinking that why the fuck is he here anyways. The more I am looking at him, the more I know I want him still even after all these years. Look at him now, he used to be good looking and now it is that plus more awesomeness on top of it. It bugs me that I have not become better in any way - more like those were the best of my years looks-wise and whatever-wise.

You piss me off, I suddenly blurt at him without any explanation as it just kind of slipped out. Good, you piss me off too, Naruto smirks and puts his mug down all the while moving closer to me. I do not know what to expect, but I take it he is not going to kick my face in, right? Naruto pushes me against the fridge and it feels extremely cold against my back. I end up yelping and he laughs. Good old times, right, he snorts again and forcefully kisses me. Well, it would have been forceful if I had not been craving for it for the last ten minutes at least, like a dog in heat. He still makes me feel like that, which again is pathetic.

Our kisses are needy and raw like they have always been. Naruto's hands wander inside my shirt, and he moves his lips from my lips to my jaw and then neck. My breathing is already shallow and I am burning inside, his fingerprints leaving bruises on my skin. Bedroom, I try to voice out and somehow Naruto actually hears that and pulls me after him. Where the fuck is it, he mumbles sounding so horny. Left, I breathe and we end up on my bed. I am lying on my back and I watch as Naruto takes off his shirt. His upper body is plain amazing.

It all feels like the time we had sex for the last time at his place and remembering the outcome of that makes me nauseous inside. I am yet again afraid he is going leave me hanging and it pisses me off. Stop, I try to whine and he looks at me weirdly. You want to call this off, he breathes. No way in hell, I exhale fast and it is odd he asks that, since he has never done it before. After you I have been nothing but casual, but with you I want more, I have always wanted more, I mumble. Are you a chick, or what, Naruto snickers and I do feel like a chick. It actually makes me ashamed of myself somehow.

I am aware of that and was when I came here, Naruto smiles fondly at me, so that I can see that cute dimple of his. I had to go to search myself to find you, now raise your arse gay boy, so that I can start entering you, he continues and I end up laughing. Wait, I cry again then. Not that I do not trust you, but in case this follows the same pattern as always, I really need to know if you are clean, I huff at him and he looks pissed now.

Could you just shut up, you wanker, Naruto exhales. I was thinking that I get to plunge into that sweet arse of yours once again, and you dare to ask if I am clean, he rambles on. For fuck's sake you are the only with whom I have ever had sex unprotected, you dumbarse, Naruto concludes and looks at me straight in the eyes. Good, because you are the only one too, love, I smile at him and it surely is an infectious smile, since he is radiating.

Into that hole he surely plunged, and I have never been fucked like that or perhaps made love to? It surely is passionate in a whole new different way and I have hard time trying not to cry out of sheer pleasure. It seems that with him these first times are surely possible, and I came so awfully lot that I was sure that I would pass out. Oh boy, is he good in bed or what - I could get used to this, but I do not know whether I should.

Noteworthy, that was the last time Naruto ever went back home unless you count the time we went to get his stuff. Now there are too guys living in a fucking small apartment that was really meant for one, but it was not so like we cared. Weirdly enough living with Naruto was actually great and sex with him was divine, so I had no complaints, even though we had not given this thing any name. I would have wanted, but with him it was not so easy and cornering him did no good, so I had to swallow my pride and wait. Like fucking wait like my life depended on it.

On my birthday that year Naruto got home from work and gave me a package with the exact words of "happy fucking birthday, you label freak". I opened the wrapped gift box and there was a ring inside. The ring was a simple silver one and it glistened in my palm. Slowly the realization hit me as I understood that this time he was not going anywhere, and that he actually thought we had a future. I had not even dared to hope that and now the promise was feeling slick in my fingers.

I am not good with words, but I intend to fulfill your wish and well, I know I was a shithead in the past and I still cannot fathom that you would want me after everything, Naruto exhales softly and not really looking at me when saying this. It took me so fucking long to get it all and be OK with it and I am still somewhat struggling with the fact, but at least I am not doing it alone anymore, he then smiles and locks his eyes with mine.

You are possibly the only good thing that has ever happened to me and I almost forgot, I fucking completely and immensely love you, Naruto smiles wickedly. Here is this guy, who used to be violent and scary, suddenly telling me that he loves me, me. That every stab of pain in me was not in vain, and every heartache ended up having a meaning so different to what I thought it would. I end up crushing him with a hug and telling him that yeah, I want to marry him and yeah, I almost forgot, I love him too.

In between kisses I whisper to him that could he repeat that to my heart, since I am not so sure it heard it in the midst of the excitement. I can feel Naruto smiling against my cheek and whispering it all - but do not get spoiled, gay boy, he then adds softly.

It used to be a twisted love, but I somehow have the feeling that we will be unraveling it together. I know it will not be easy, really. I am not saying that I am OK with our past, but I want to make this work. More than often we need to suffer in order to grow and so should relationships grow and evolve too. The world is not ready, ever. But, it is always about what you make of it all in the end, right?

The End.

**So, thoughts? Comments? Anyone?**


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